upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
