marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
