You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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