Is it normal to miss your booty call?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
