Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
