Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
