so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
