Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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