i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
