and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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