its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
