hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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