Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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