oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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