Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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