"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
