He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
