Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i used baking grease as lip gloss
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
