Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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