I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
