Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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