i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Randomize
