whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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