So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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