i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
