just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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