Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
