I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Randomize
