I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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