you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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