So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
This girl is more easily done than said...
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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