Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
