Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
