i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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