Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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