I don't remember. Are we still dating?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize