by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
