My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
