what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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