Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
