Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
You can't motorboat a personality
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize