i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
