More tranny stories later!
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
