there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
