Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
