do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
