Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
