sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
