he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
