KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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