I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
