its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
