whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
