they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
