Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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