Christians are straight up FREAKS
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
