I feel like I'm in dance class right now
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
