You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
