Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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