Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
