I'm laying in your front yard are you home
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
