i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
