How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
this beer tastes like vomit already
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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