he shaved USA in his pubs
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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