dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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