its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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