i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Randomize
